Greetings From 2112

Hello from the future!  I've commandeered this persons web log to communicate with you, the people of the 21st century to assure you that humans do survive past 2012.  After reading some of the history files of your era that whole Mayan calendar thing seemed like a big deal so I just wanted to put your minds to rest.

Let me back up a little.  The Mayans were right, our world did come to an end on December 21st but luckily there was a fleet of alien ships waiting to rescue us.  The Creeedithoscarlats were a race of creatures that were big fans of the television transmissions that we beam into space from Earth, particularly those of a show called "Jersey Shore." They wanted to meet someone named "Snooki" so we really have to be thankful for bad taste.  The Creeds had heard about the possible end of the world through the broadcasts and thought they should come, just in case the predictions came true.  Wow, what are the chances right?

Anyway, here we are on Earth 2.  Yeah, it's not a very creative name but after the war of 2015 over what to call our new home, the Democrats and Republicans compromised on something simple and easy to remember.  Oh, I forgot to tell you, after the move it was decided that our new world would be governed by the U.S. leaders.  The educations system hasn't been the same since.  

2112 will mark 100 years and we're planning a big anniversary celebration this coming December. The first thing our scientists did, thanks to the mandatory DNA storing bill of 2013, were to clone the members of Canadian rock band Rush, so they could perform their album 2112 in it's entirety.  The cloning process isn't exactly perfect and Neil Pert 2 doesn't keep time as well as the original so his android counterpart is standing by, just in case things don't go as planned.

Speaking of androids, Steve Jobs Mark IV will also be appearing at the anniversary.  Of course he'll be at a different location and it won't part of the official celebration.  He's expected to announce the iPhone 104S, rumored to be even smaller than the iPhone 104 but it may also just be a software upgrade since it was just last year that the device became something that is now implanted in a persons brain.  Of course the Apple faithful will get the surgery again but experts believe most new business will come from people switching over from Windows Phone.

So, there you have it, the news from 2112.  I'd better wrap this up before the singularity I'm using to transmit this back through time closes.  One more thing though, Google+ does survive but now it's called Google Infinity.

Happy New Year.